Assertiveness
You know that feeling too well. Somebody says something. You want to answer back but you don’t want to sound aggressive. So, you become passive and feel disappointed that you once again missed an opportunity to stand up for yourself.
As a Life Coach, I can help you to become assertive and be available to you as you practise this skill.
Assertiveness is a critical communication skill. It is particularly helpful for dealing with people who may want to manipulate you. It requires total honesty with the people you are speaking with. It could be that you find being honest about how you feel would leave you vulnerable. The reality is that honesty and openness help to build or preserve relationships. However, learning this skill requires an investment of time and energy in order to get the results that you long for. I can help you.
So what are the main differences in communication styles?
PASSIVE COMMUNICATION
Gives priority to other peoples’ needs
at expensive of own needs.
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Respects both own and others’ needs.
AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
Violates the needs and rights of others. Gives priority to own needs.
Being passive can result in a lack of purpose and loss of control and from saying what you really think. In turn, this leads to lowered self-esteem, stress and anxiety. Concealing your thoughts and feelings means that others don’t really know you and can lead to unhealthy and uncomfortable relationships.
Did you know that you were born to communicate assertively?
Have you ever seen a baby cry for attention? It is assertive. If the baby wants milk, it gets the milk. If it wants a cuddle, it gets a cuddle. So how do we unlearn assertiveness?
Consider:
- How did your family handle conflict?
- If they disagreed with someone or were upset, how did they behave?
- How were you taught to handle conflict?
- How did you get your needs met without having to ask outright?
- Did you cry or make threats? Or did you think it was OK to be ignored?
- Do you still behave in this way today?
I can help you to communicate assertively: book a discovery call.
