I recently lost a very dear friend to an aggressive cancer. It made me think about friendships. Observing what we have in common, making time, being creative and proactive. It takes time, requires sacrifices, and the investment pays dividends.
I’ve been mulling over what was special about that friendship. What did we have in common? Initially, we met through church. She loved to travel and wanted to post photos of her adventures on Facebook so her godchildren could enjoy them. At that point in this new technology, images had to be a particular number of pixels and centimetres. So I shared with her the skill that my childrenI had taught me. She was absolutely delighted and then shocked when I said I must rush to get the train home as they were less frequent in the evening. She saw it as a big deal that I would come after work by train and give up an evening to help her. She really valued that.
We then started to meet up regularly. We discovered our mutual love of good food. She taught me about wine. Good food and wine are available in France. I was part of a French Twinning group. She soon joined too. Together, we improved our appalling French by doing a university evening class. We met for supper and a glass of red to lubricate our epiglottises before launching into the weekly class. We enjoyed some visits to Brittany and forged some good friendships there with people who were patiently willing to let us stutter through conversations. She taught them how to make this strange drink called Pimms with bits of fruit and flowers floating on top.
It’s give and take isn’t it? Friendship. Sharing what you have and letting others fill in the gaps that you lack. Forgiving, loving, skimming over the holes. ‘Love covers a multitude of sins’. Sometimes that’s a big stretch but it’s so worth it for what you get in return. We all need each other.
If you want a friend, be a friend.