So, what is this internal voice that follows us around, putting us down; holding us back?
It’s commonly called ‘the inner critic’. It is important to recognise this as a voice that is separate to our own thinking. This isn’t easy because the chatter is so constant that we tend to accept it as our own thoughts.
How do we distinguish the voice of the inner critic from our own thoughts?
One of the main distinctions is in the tone of voice. The inner critic tends to be harsh and critical. We would not use this tone to speak to a close friend. Our own ‘best self’ would always be kinder when commenting on any shortcomings.
The type of questions raised by the inner critic are closed requiring only YES/NO answers. There are no shades of grey. Everything is black and white; safe or unsafe. AND THAT’S THE POINT; to keep us safe, head below the parapet, standing behind the line, minding the gap. Conversely, our best self tends to show more curiosity asking What if? Could it possible that? There’s a bit more colour to it. It manages risk as we step towards the line, rather than avoiding risk by not doing anything.
So next time self-doubt arises; listen out for tone of voice. If it’s harsh and critical, then it’s not your best self talking.
#selfcompassion
#whoneedsalifecoach